Choosing Forgiveness When it Still Hurts
On May 4, 2025 by Anna De LayLessons I’m learning about forgiveness…
Forgiveness is the only path to wholeness and healing of your own broken heart. Even so, the memories, the hurt, the feelings of betrayal don’t magically disappear when you choose to forgive someone who has hurt you deeply. There is an initial forgiveness that we choose, but the harder part is that we must choose it over and over again. Forgiveness is an ongoing process. Though the rawness of the event has passed and you’ve forgiven the offender, the effects of the offense continue to present themselves in different ways-
In the what ifs…
the regrets… the trust issues…
the negative unfolding of the consequences of their actions in your own life…
the day to day feeling of moving forward, yet still grieving the life you once knew…
the longing to return to a semblance of normalcy, yet knowing that same life you had can never be again.
And it ought not to be.
Things are different now.
You’re different now.
Perspectives change.
People change.
We can’t change what happened, but we can choose to forgive.
We will grow from our experiences if we keep love at the forefront.
But it’s messy. It’s not perfect. And honestly, it can be confusing. We must be patient with ourselves in the learning and the letting go.
If you’re walking that road with me, I am sure it gets better from here. We’re on the right track, let’s keep going. Keep forgiving when the memories come flooding back and the hurt cuts just as deep as it did the first time. Keep loving when the apology never comes or it isn’t at all what you expected. Keep moving forward in each area of your life, even as you are still working on forgiving yourself for the “what ifs”.
Baby steps.
It’s all part of the process.
One day, it won’t hurt anymore. It will be a distant memory. You will have overcome the hurt and the pain of the experience. The memories won’t haunt you. Regrets of the past will be swallowed up in the joy of the now and in your hopes for the future. You will be able to help someone else facing betrayal, hurt, and confusion and lead them on the path of forgiveness as well. You will heal.
I pray this for you.
I pray this for me too.❤️
I am a wife, homeschool mom, musician, and songwriter; but most importantly, I am a daughter of the King. My heart’s desire is to draw closer to God and bring other people with me! Truly, there is no greater joy.
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