Worship in the Hard Seasons: Lessons in Suffering

The fact that our son is getting a much less vibrant and healthy mom than our girls did really bothers me at times. But I truly have learned a lot in the process. (For context, our daughters are now young adults and our son is 7. For the last 8 years, I have been dealing with blood clotting and auto-immune issues, as well as other things concerning health.) This is my testimony and what I have learned about worship, God, and myself through the suffering.

“Would you still worship Me if I never healed you?”

I stood crying and listening with my head down during a worship service a few years ago when I heard the Lord say these words to me.

Without missing a beat, I said, “Yes Lord, of course!!”

“Then why have you laid down and given up?”

When I realized the truth of these words and what I had done, I wept. I cried those ugly tears where mascara ran down my face, and I didn’t care.

It was true. I had accepted the so-called decline in my health as a part of the life I was now living. But that’s not the worst part. I had stopped giving God the praise He deserved. In my disappointment with God (concerning more than just my health), I withheld my thankfulness and worship from Him. I had stopped even playing my piano and singing at home. Stopped pursuing being on the worship team (I hadn’t been a part of one since we moved back to MT in 2016). I even stopped talking with people after church and trying to be a part of things, church and otherwise. We went from being an integral part of our church in Arkansas and having a close community of friends to almost nothing up here in Montana; and I told myself it was just part of a season of rest and waiting I was in.

But the truth is, I had allowed myself to be completely caught up in my own struggles and feeling sorry for myself.

Lesson #1: Rest doesn’t mean giving up.

There is a time for rest. There is a time for reset. But that doesn’t mean withdrawing from God, pursuing our gifts and interests less, and only sitting on the sidelines. On the contrary! If there is ever a time when we need to pursue God most, tune in for His voice, and keep our eyes on the goal, it is in the hard seasons. This is the time to surrender everything to the Lord. “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:16).

• Now is the time for full surrender. You say, “I’ve already done that.” What about surrendering your kids’ futures? Surrendering the uncertainties of your health? Your finances? Your marriage? What about your fears? That topic you’ve been avoiding. That person you haven’t forgiven. Those hurtful words you spoke that still ring in your ears because you’ve never repented to the one you hurt. Ask God to show you what you need to surrender to Him, and I guarantee He will answer your prayer.

Lesson #2: Suffering is not a punishment!

Suffering is actually a gift from God. If you don’t believe me read Philippians 1:29, 1 Peter 4:12-13, and Romans 5:3-4 which says, “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Suffering is answering many of my prayers. I’ve prayed for years to have a compassion of Christ for others. I’ve prayed for change in my own heart and for God to help me stir up the gifts He’s given me and to be diligent in what He’s called me to do. I’ve prayed for boldness and strength and discernment and a speaking ability. And God is granting my heart’s desires through hardship.

• Trust the process! If you are going through a hard season right now, I encourage you to lean into the growth of it. It may not be fun for the moment. In fact, it can be very difficult to get past the hurt, the illness, the pain, the uncertainty, the wondering, whatever you are facing… But He promises to work all things out for our good. If we put our trust in God and allow Him to mold and shape us in these hard times, though it is painful, we will reap the benefit of becoming more like Him in character and be able to share that hope with others.

Lesson #3: Withdrawing from others deepens the hurt.

There may be a time when we withdraw for a while from activities with other people for the sole purpose of solitude with God. But we weren’t meant to do life alone. God did not call us to be an island to ourselves, preaching only to ourselves, helping only ourselves, and suffering alone. We need each other! The Church of the New Testament ate together regularly, fellowshipped, worshipped, and shared their belongings with each other (Act 2:42-46). They looked after each other’s interests and took care of one another (Philippians 2:4).

• Stay connected to people. In our weakness and struggle, we can often think, “Why bother going to church?” or cancel the plans we’ve made with friends because we are feeling down. We may feel like nobody cares or are even interested in what’s going on in our lives. But most times, that is simply not true. There is always someone who cares. And there is always a need for someone else to have that connection with us as well. I encourage you to put aside preconceived ideas, be courageous, and stay connected even when you feel less than. God often uses others to encourage and lighten our loads when we are faced with difficulties.

Lesson #4: God is still worthy of praise.

Initially, I withdrew my praise from God when I felt He had let me down. Now I understand that He didn’t fail me at all. He’s only taking me through this dark valley so that I can see that 1. He is my only hope. And 2. He has a lot of work to do in me and through me. A LOT of work! I have made my mind up that no matter what’s going on in my life, I will still sing because He is still worthy. I will still pursue and seek His face because He is sovereign, and He knows what He’s doing with me. I will not give in to the temptation to sit down and wallow in self-pity. “I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth” (Psalm 34:1).

• Don’t back down your praise when things get tough! You’ve got to pray and worship like your life depends on it, because it does. The enemy loves to see us sidelined and on the bench. But worship is our weapon against the enemy’s lies. Stand up and worship on the sidelines! Stay connected to God in this season. Press through and know that you are a victor because Christ has already won. So, give Him thanks for it!

Lord, I thank you for your love and patience for me! You’ve never failed. Forgive me for doubting you, forgive me for sitting on the sidelines. I surrender my hopes, my dreams, my family, my talents, finances, worries, hurts and pains to You for You are the only one who can help me. You are the only one who can take what has been broken and mend it back together. Help me to trust you through this process and live in obedience to Your word and bless you at all times. Help me to be a worshipper even in this time of suffering. Amen.

Anna De Lay

I am a wife, homeschool mom, musician, and songwriter; but most importantly, I am a daughter of the King. My heart’s desire is to draw closer to God and bring other people with me! Truly, there is no greater joy.